Fun with HP … NOT!

So we’re doin’ taxes this week. Like gathering documents about what we earned, spent for travel to work and other pleasant financial details of the past year … And as if this was not FUN enough for a whole year, the freaking printer and its manufacturer drive me nuts when other than printing the damn thing (yeah, you can upload it but you also have to print it …) everything else is done …

We own an HP C5280 printer which we use like 3-4 times a year. It usually sits in the cabinet, unplugged. So now we have to use it in order to print the damn tax return and guess what – there’s a problem. A precisely described problem …

Translated, this says

Printer cartridges (plural). Information inside manual.

So since my wife is using the computer (the nice tax authority upload software is only available for windows which I cannot stand doing anything with), I take my smartphone and google “hp c5280 manual”. I quickly get to a page with a like 5 meg PDF file, but cannot download it on the smartphone for whatever reason. Download keeps failing. So more like “Information in inaccessible manual”. Hmpf.

So I tell my wife to download the PDF and have a look at what it says about this problem. Turns out, neither the “Grundlagenhandbuch” (which is correctly translated from the english website word “basics guide”) nor the “Referenzhandbuch” (which is terribly wrongly translated from “setup guide” but actually means “reference manual”) have any information on this error message. So what? Install HP Software to diagnose the problem? Apparently a necessary evil …

Browsing to the download page brings up the software within a reasonable amount of time and shows that it weighs in at about 300 MB. For driver and diagnosis software for a printer … WTF? So I start the download and it is not only frigging huge, it is also frigging slow … HP … seriously … this is rediculous for a company your size.

So a half an hour later, the software is downloaded and installed (I didn’t even have to reboot!) and tells me this:

There is a problem with your black cartridge. You will find further information in your printer’s manual

Really? Been there … At least they did not forget to include a link to their online shop. Now that’s important.

Clicking the icon in the upper right part of the window gets me to the “HP Solution Center”. And guess what …

It also tells me there is a problem with the black cartridge. It does not say that it’s empty (which might very well be the case), it just says there is a problem.

So what’s left to do? Re-seat the cartridge was try one. My fellow Dell technician’s first way of solving everything might help here, too! Well, it did not. Replacing the cartridge with a new one did, however. But why the fuck couldn’t they just tell me that in the first place?

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